Funny Music Quotes

This post is a subcategory of my earlier post “Music Quotes I love”. These quotes may not have particularly deep and soulful meanings, but they are funny!

“To compose music, all you have to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of” – Robert Schumann

“After all, the central nervous system can accommodate only so many pages of persistent pianissimos, chord clusters in the marge, and tritones on the vibes. Sooner or later, the diet palls and the patient cries out for a cool draught of C major.” - Glenn Gould

“I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.” - Woody Allen

“BACH! A colossal syllable, one which makes composers tremble, brings performers to their knees, beautifies the Bach-lover, and apparently bores the daylights out of everyone else.” - Leonard Bernstein

“Fortissimo at last!” – Gustav Mahler, on seeing Niagara Falls

“A musicologist is a man who can read music but cannot hear it.” – Sir Thomas Beecham

“I occasionally play works by contemporary composers and for two reasons. First, to discourage the composer from writing anymore, and secondly to remind myself how much I appreciate Beethoven.” – Jascha Heifetz

“Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.” – Igor Stravinsky

“The good composer is slowly discovered, the bad composer is slowly found out.” – Ernest Newman

“Wagner has lovely moments but awful quarters of an hour.” – Gioacchino Rossini

“My music is best understood by children and animals.” - Igor Stravinsky (1882 – 1971)

“Classical music is the kind that we keep thinking will turn into a tune.” – Frank McKinney

“Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.” – Ed Gardner